#like super duper tired
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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)
#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done#there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself#maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth#ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi#beatrix valeria campbell#hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3#the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like#there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name#because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and#fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help#let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away#from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera#like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but#that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea#the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same#as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow#as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh#speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me#and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind#of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk#fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing#i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts#fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front#paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels#more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that#front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry#oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers#and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)
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sorry i haven't been around much !! got pretty sick for a bit and have been helping out with a kids' camp in the afternoons. i hope everything is going well for y'all !! i miss being here but i should be around a more normal amount this weekend and onward <3
#tbh i haven't had the social energy to really log in here#and have had super duper writer's block too#(probably from just being tired and not feeling well)#BUT i am starting to feel like writing again i think!!#which ofc would happen right at the end of camp when i'll be busiest
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He was in his social media influencer era
Redraw of this silly meme
#I HAVE ARTBLOCL. ive been staring at my canvas for two hours straight and did nothing so ljke.#made this fot the funsies#thinking of it kai was kinda like alvin ftom Alvin and the chipmunks in this season 😭😭😭😭#ninjago#kai ninjago#kai smith#THIS LOOKS BAD. its ok this was supposed to be a shitpost anyway#my art#ok goodnight guys im feeling super duper tired
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my dear friend the heron says she doesn’t want a proxy list just to identify the common alters on this blog/she feels they’re ‘temporary’.. but like, i think it’s useful? ( ・᷄ὢ・᷅ ) definitely more useful than just vaguely going “We’re a bunch of animals in a trench coat so don’t worry” and constantly going through the shifts in identity that will happen anyways.
i will probably make a new pinned posts.. it’s true you can’t really get used to LONG-term consistency when it comes to DID, but that doesn’t mean i shouldn’t try, really..
i’m lazy and very busy though so don’t look forward to it right away OK?
#txt#🏝️#i’m Serval the Unserious#i like to use kaomojis because i’m tired of masking but I probably won’t here????!!#everyone seems super duper serious…..#let’s figure it out together!
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Genuinely feel so sick rn
#my head hurts so bad#can i pleas nogt be affected by my characters. ihbgoodness#one is high off his ass and hyper af and the ither has a terrible headache and is super duper tired and now i feel nauseous and my head hurt#s and im tired and feel like i js had a sugar rush#aaufhhsgggkl
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i h8 nightwing ((2016)) sm that i would reread it all over again just 2 make a list & point out all the things i dont enjoy in it
#i recently remembered issue 100 & it made me head in hands in the not fun way#listen i like dick#i like a decent....i think? amount of the run#its just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not....i just dont like it vry super duper much#its like#like yk how theres that thing where ppl go smth smth “comic fans always look 2 muhc in2 a thing”? yeah that#thats me w/this stupid run i dont like it vry muhc#it annoys me thats prolyl the best way 2 describe it#IS THE 90S RUN BETTER? uhhhh idk thats also pretty awful especially after dg started writing 4 it#all the plots got weird & 4getful & didnt make sense#like somethings just happen & never get explained & its hella annoying#but ughhhhhh idk i think im more fine w/it rn bc its darker & im an edgy piece of shit#but theres smth about dicks characterization in 2016 that makes me confused & the watered down points-#am i just speaking out of my ass?#PERHAPS#but im thinking about shit in 2016 & just banging my head on the desk#srry im just yapping but also this is my blog fuck u?????????'#srryyyyhJ<#im actually just so tired of not complaining like im keeping it in it feels bad 4 some reason#i wanna share my opinion 4 some reason EWWWWWWWWWW
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crying mr pengu how are you T T
#holy shit im so tired#I'm here to do my yearly check in to let everyone know I'm still alive#out here trying to find the lowest quality image of this sad cat thumbs up#im in my feels#like im going to go take a shower fully clothed kind of sad feels#im having my geto moment except i don't want to kill humans#that sounds really misleading actually if you've seen jjk#no one died#he's just the first person i thought of that had a mental breakdown in the shower#I should rephrase I'm having my late-night taxi cab through downtown with my head against the car window while the lights pass by#but like not in a good ✨ I'm discovering myself kind of way ✨#super duper big mwah#lovely anon#anon ask
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like listen i'm not saying the current system is perfect, it fucking sucks and i know it you know it it was set up by shitty people in shitty times and contains all this shitty leftover bs.
but destroying the system is not the answerrrr yes it sucks that if we want to fix anything or make it better we have to work within the shitty rule set!!! put on your big kid pants. voting is like taking out the garbage. if you don't do it because it stinks, it gets worse.
#rendom thoughts#ren rants#listen i'm just so tired of people saying 'well both sides are EVIL'#yeah i know and the people who aren't evil are currently being crushed by the machine that the super duper evil people set up#that's what they fucking do#so you partner with the devil you know long enough to dismantle the people-crushing-machine in a way that doesn't kill anyone.#battle of inches guys we have to fight this as a battle of inches#fighting it as a battle of miles just leaves too many dead bodies#and if you think i'm joking about that#do you really think that the most vulnerable of us won't be the ones to die in the retaliation?#in the aftermath? in the violence?#if you care about your community or your neighbor you'll suck it up and vote#and once you've done that to make sure that people who would probably hunt those like me for sport aren't in power#THEN you can bitch and moan about all the evil of the government#remember: inches not miles
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THOUGHTS ON THE NEW TRAILER????
heheheehheaHEAHaHAHAAHAH
#snap chats#this is excited cackling. by hthe wya#I CANNOT WAIT //THROWS UP//#i wanna have a watch party so bad .... yet i have no friends#gota speedrun making friends when i go back to school i have like a month and a half surely i can pull something#BUT VJLAKJLKAJV idc if ive seen this story a thousand and one times i'll happily see it a thoussand and two times more#i'm just so interested in how theyre gonna tackle it .... thats why i never tire of them revisting y1 i fear#like OBVIII it'd be nice for themt o eventually get to the rest of the franchsie#but i'm always interested to see how they portray the story This time#AND IM EXCITED FOR KIRYU AND NISHIKI'S ACTORS I SUPER DUPER AM TO SEE HOW THEY PERFORM#i've grown fond of them ... i mean ive seen nishiki's before but only as a silly guy ....... i must see him go from silly guy to. Trauma jF#ok by im gonna go celebrate the eve of my sister's bday with her :}}}}}}}
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#so it's Infect Your Friends And Loved Ones with the bit about 'everyone around here knows about you'#even if it's positive- the world pays so much more fucking attention to my life for being trans and it makes me.. shiver?#coffee clerk fumbled every facet of taking my order and the apology landed super duper sideways#'oh sorry! it's just that it's my first time helping *you* is all- just seen you around a lot before. you know.' yeah? know what exactly?#how's that supposed to make me feel? every month they hire someone new and we get to do the same tiring song and dance#another young-20s clerk that will not stop trying to make small talk w/me beats ones that only glare yeah- this isn't pain just frustration#and like YES it's better than the cashier that beats the shit out of my beers on purpose or crumples receipts to hand them to me#or the audible 'see- told you he's a man' commentary when he can see stubble behind a mask on days that can't bother me to shave#like the pharmacists at this supermarket make me well aware that nobody else gets their E here. the store knows the local tranny. great.#genpop cannot reliably be fucking Normal Abt Transfems to the point that it makes me wanna thank the rare coworker that just like.#doesn't treat me like anyone different or special or a threat or a curiosity or an object or a shot to gain social capital for being nice?#getting told by young-20s cis girls that calling me dude didn't mean anything b/c they're 'y'know! *also* [limp wrist mime] *girlypop!*'#hits closer to home than getting called a slur to my face because the latter asshole doesn't pretend to be my friend and just.#skips straight to making me a paper doll in their head of what it means to be me and shaped like me and dressed like me and it's.. slimy.#'everyone around here knows about you.'
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i hope to god that they keep the comic book inspired style for the lollipop chainsaw remake, just with better animation and updated graphics
#like i love games with realistic graphics#realistic graphics can set a really serious tone when it comes to games#which is why i dont think it would work with lollipop chainsaw#lc is super duper unserious and funny and whimsical and its stylistic character style really pulls that together#especially with all of the comic book/scrapbook decals it has#putting it in a realistic artstyle would take away from the pure and unbridled whimsy it has#and im just tired of seeing games get remade and they're given a realistic coat of paint#give us stylized games back !!!#this tag rant was brought to you by the rando in a lollipop chainsaw playthrough comment section who said the remake should have#<<< a realistic style#respectfully i disagree for the aforementioned reasons
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😭
#I just saw this TikTok and I was gonna post it but idk how to do it properly#it just comes up as a link and I want the video :(#so I’m just gonna talk about it#CAUSE NOW IM ALL EMOTIONAL WTF#it was a video of a golden retriever husband coming home after work#the first thing he does is walk in and say ‘hello gorgeous’ and while he’s kissing her he throws his stuff on the counter#and wraps her up in a big hug#and it was just nonstop compliments#and they were hugging and looking into each others eye#and they’re like ‘I missed you’#I’m TOTALLY NOT CRYING WHAT DO YOU MEAN 😭#at the end he’s like ‘can we cuddle and do nothing please I’m so tired’#well that made me feel things#super duper happy for that random couple#but like#uhm#where is my golden retriever partner 😤😤😤😤😤#shut up rosie
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I just cannot wait for the day Lindy Ruff is fired.
I am tired of having the tiny hope I have be taken away every damn game.
I am tired of seeing the players, who are clearly just dun not in the sense that they aren't trying but in the sense that they have gotten used to the disappointment that is this season, be exhausted every game, especially when players like Daws, L. Hughes and literally anyone else who is showing signs of stress clearly aren't playing in tiptop shape.
I am tired of Lindy sounded disappointed any time he is on screen, no matter if we do well or not that game, it's consistent disappointment and disinterest when I hear him talk and it sucks.
I am tired of New Jersey somehow finding a way to be a joke even in the sports world with our ONLY major professional, this team is many people only knowledge of Jersey and yet we are STILL a joke or something to just not be respected.
I am tired of every game where everyone is sure this just HAS to be Lindy's last game and yet somehow he is still there the next time we play, that somehow someway he probably won't be fired till the end of the season and EVEN THEN who knows if he actually will me.
I am tired and over it but I'll still be watching the games, I'll still be there when we lose once again, I'll still be there talking to Sky saying shit about how much I hate Lindy and how he is running this team into the ground, I'll still be complaining about Ruff to my parents because they have to know everything wrong going on.
I'll still be here because just because a team is doing shit doesn't mean you should drop it just because of that, that just shows you weren't actually a fan in my opinion.
I have far too much state pride for my own good because I genuinely love this state and love this team, so I'll stick through the good and the bad, continue to be slightly angry with myself for not being able to get into hockey last year when we were badass.
And I'll still be watching and eventually buy more stuff for the Devils because let's be real, the second that sales drop and the Devs aren't as popular the club isn't stay in Jersey, so might as well support the bastards ya know?
And hey, who knows, maybe one day we shall see Lindy gone and this team flourishing, but until then I'll just keep being sorta upset that we aren't doing as well as we can and drinking my problems away (this is a joke and I promise it's just water, Liquid Death specifically).
#new jersey devils#nj devils#i never thought i would do a long ass post about the devs#but hey#first time for everything#besides im tired of nj getting shit on by other teams fans#like we get it#the devs arent the best#whatever#you cant say anything if you haven't won in the 21st century#*cough* rangers *cough*#anyway#i have a lot of pride for my state and my team#maybe too much#but when you grow up not even hearing much news about the place you live unless its super duper bad or good#you tend to take anything you can#i really wish we got to know more about how the team is with lindy#cause i get the idea that theres a lot we dont know#we the people and the media#jersey is really weird about news#cause unless it could make msnbc or something#it just isnt really worth publishing#because chances are no one is going to see it#considering a lot of people dont watch new 12 nj#is this just me ranting about how i love this team but hate the man running it#yes#absolutely#and im damn proud of it too#quite the masterpiece if i do say so myself#which i do
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little reminder to keep the people impacted by hurricane hilary in your thoughts and prayers. we're getting some of the effects of it, but nothing compared to the people in southern california and parts of nevada and it's bad enough here. hoping everything turns out okay for everyone at risk!
#we're praying hard#*❈ ‣ i’m a silly little ninnynoodle — ( ooc. )#tbd.#i realize it's been demoted to a tropical storm but it's still bad#hurricane tw#natural disaster tw#for now i'm super duper tired and desperate need of a nap at 11:30 am#and i'm getting dragged to a dinner party hosted by people i don't know or don't like and i'm highkey dreading it
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I've started doing this thing (or at least I've started to notice myself doing this thing) where I just kinda idk daydream so hard I fall asleep? It's not like my normal fatigue, I'm not exhausted but awake and alarmingly aware of how I can't move, I'm peacefully drifting off to sleep as a daydream ramps up in its vividness until I'm actually just dreaming, and this only takes (or feels like it takes) a few minutes. I'll be having a regular daydream while wide awake, and then suddenly I'm on the cusp of sleep. I'd chalk it up to another facet of my fatigue if it wasn't SUCH a different sensation. I should probably be concerned about this but I don't even know where to start
#like the only sleep disorder i know that puts you to sleep is narcolepsy#but i dont know enough about the disorder thats not sensationalised to really understand what narcolepsy's really like i suppose?#i know i have disordered sleep#i have dogshit REM and restorative sleep already which i assume is why im tired and have very little energy all the time#but i know nothing about anything beyond that#and guess what. learning things also makes me too tired to function. looking things up and reading exhaust me. so. idk.#i got stuff to do with my 1-3 tasks a day worth of energy i dont want to spaff it all on reading yet another#'narcolepsy makes you pass out face first into your dinner and is super duper rare and theres no other sleep disorders besides insomnia'
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me rn
every night I think “wow this might be the night I go to bed early” and every time without fail I fuck it up
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